The Maoh of Aokigahara Forest
by YaoiBunny8702
Summary: What is the meaning of life? I cannot stand this pain any longer. Just let it end, please. This is very depressing, and I would not recommend it to anyone under the age of 16. *Suicide / Major Character Death Warning*
1. Chapter 1: End

**Author's Note: Well, while you guys are waiting for chapter 10 of The Animatronic Demon King, I decided to write a little something. Just be warned, though, this story contains very heavy material, and should not be viewed by anyone who cannot handle themes of death or suicide, or who don't like reading angsty fics. The subject of this story is not to be taken lightly, and was not written in a way that was meant to look down upon said subjects. For the rest of you, proceed and enjoy.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyo Kara Maoh, nor do I own Aokigahara Forest. I merely own the plot.

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What is the meaning of life? Why do we live? The answer may vary, depending on who you ask. I used to believe that there was always a reason for being alive, and that God lets us wake up each morning for a reason. I'm starting to wish that I didn't.

I used to believe that life was what you made it. Now, however, I question that. How can we shape our lives when we're constantly stuck in a never-ending loop of the same tedious tasks, over and over again? How can we change when we're told that we can't? How can we live when we're being controlled like a puppet? Every little thing we do is not of our own will, but of _theirs_. I want it to stop. _Please_.

I wasn't ready to take on those responsibilities. I was still no more than a child, yet I was cruelly shoved into a whole different world, forced to take on a role that I had no say in taking. Why? They depend on me, and they demand so much of me. They're always asking me to be something that I am not. I just… _cannot do it anymore_. This has to end.

I made a decision today. Not a small decision, like what to eat for breakfast, or what to say to my friends, but something that would change my entire life. Something that would end it all, like I'd been waiting so long for. I told them that I was just going camping with some friends. I told them that I'd be back before they knew it. _Lies_. Every time I think of what I said, it hurts inside, because I know that they care for me, and that by doing this, I'll have given up something so precious. I'll have given up friends and family. _It hurts_. I can't go back now, though. If I do, this will have meant nothing, and I can't do that. This _has_ to end. I just cannot take the pain any longer…

I didn't bring any tape, because I had already made up my mind. This decision is final. I'm not going back. I will die here. I brought nothing more than a tent, some clothes, a rope, some pain relievers, and a paper and pen. I picked up the paper and began to write.

" _I'm sorry that it had to come to this. I just couldn't handle doing this anymore. I'm sorry for lying to you, and I'm sorry for hurting you. I wish that I could take back the things that I said, but I can't. I just wasn't ready for it, and I wasn't happy. Please forgive me for doing this. Goodbye._ "

I pinned the note to a nearby tree with a piece of tape. Then, I grabbed the bottle. I emptied its contents into my open palm and sighed deeply. ' _Well, I guess this is it, then…_ ' I tipped my head back and swallowed the pills, wincing at the sharp pain I felt as they slid down the back of my throat. Then, I turned back to the rope. I pulled it out of the bag I had brought it in and began to knot the end of it. When I was finished, I tightly tied it to the thickest branch of the tree. I stood back and sighed again. ' _No going back now. Even if I went back, the pills would slowly kill me, anyways._ ' I removed my jacket, leaving me in nothing but a thin T-shirt. I took a moment to rub at the faded cuts and scars littering my wrists and arms. I reached up around my neck and untied the pendant hanging there. I stared at it for a moment, silently admiring the blueness of it, before setting it at the base of the tree beneath where the note hung. ' _I'm sorry, Conrad…_ ' I will admit that I'd harbored feeling for the brunette soldier for some time, but it was always unrequited, and he never knew of these dark emotions swirling around in my chest like poison. It's not as though it mattered now, though. ' _He wouldn't have ever accepted me..._ _ **loved**_ _me. At least, not in the way I love him._ '

I slipped out of my shoes, placing them neatly before the tree next to my folded jacket. I was always told that even in death, you should always be polite and clean up beforehand. Taking your shoes off before doing it is a sign of 'stepping out of the world, and into another'. Let's hope that the next life will be more kinder to me.

' _It's time. I need to get this over with before I lose the will_.' I took a deep breath and took a step forward, gripping the noose. I slipped my head into it, so that the rope pressed tightly against the sensitive skin of my neck. ' _One… Two…_ ' Before I could back out, I stepped off of the incline of the tree, leaving me hanging by my throat. I instinctively gasped for air, my hands digging at the flesh around my neck, before willing myself to go limp. I waited as the light of life led to the darkness of the afterlife. At first, all I felt was the pressure in my throat, but the pain soon gave way to euphoria, the darkness turning into a brilliant paradise. At last, I was free. No longer will I be weighed down by the pains and stresses of life, as now, my heart and soul reside in a better place. Surely, right?

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 **Author's Note: While I was writing this (which only took about an hour, surprisingly), I felt that the ending was too depressing. Besides, if this was truly the end, then it would make Yuuri very OOC, right? So, what I'll do is I'll make one more chapter for this, only it will pick up from a specific part, and will have a different ending. I'm sure that the second ending will be more satisfying, not only for you to read, but for me to write. Please let me know what you guys think. Was it too dark (probably)? Do you want me to make the 'happier' ending? Anyways, I'll see you guys later! Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2: Alternate End

**Author's Note: Well, the last chapter was just** _ **so**_ **depressing. It literally** _ **physically**_ **hurt me just to WRITE it, so I decided to do a second chapter. This second chapter is going to be an 'alternate ending' sort of deal, so it'll start from the beginning, but have a completely different ending than the last one. This ending, hopefully, will be much more happy and will be much more satisfying for you to read. Just note, there will be some light ConYuu in here, but only because it's my OTP xD. Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: Again, like last time, I own nothing but the plot.

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What is the meaning of life? Why do we live? The answer may vary depending on who you ask. I used to believe that everything always happened for a reason, but now, I'm not so sure. I used to believe that God always allowed us to wake up each morning to see another day for a reason, but I sometimes find myself wishing that I didn't.

I always believed that life was what you made it, but I've recently come to question that. After all, how can we 'make our lives' when what we do is always controlled? How can we live freely when every move we make is not of our own will? It is impossible. I can't take this pain anymore, and I just want it to end. _Please_ …

I wasn't ready for those responsibilities yet; I was basically still a child. Now I've lost almost all of my freedom, my entire future having been twisted to fit their needs. I was thrown into another world, one where I knew nothing, and was yet expected to lead them. They always did - and still do - expect so much of me. They want me to be something that I physically cannot. I just _can't_ do it, not like this. I want it to end.

I made a decision today. Not like the decision you'd make everyday, like what to eat for breakfast or what to wear to school, but a much bigger decision. One that could ultimately lead to either to happiness and freedom, or eternal pain and suffering. I told them that I was going camping with my friends, and that I'd be back soon. _Lies_. I wouldn't be coming back… This is going to be my final resting place, and I will make my final sacrifice here. I should get this over with soon. I know that I lied to them, and it hurts. It hurts just thinking about it, so I should probably stop thinking for a while…

I didn't bring any tape with me, because I had realized that this was to be my final decision, and if I brought it, I would be tempted to go back. But I can't go back; if I do, all of this will have meant nothing. I can't live with that. But this is so hard, because I'm _scared_. I'm scared of what will happen when I'm gone. What will Mama and Dad do? What will Shori do? Will they be angry or sad? Will the others from the Demon Kingdom miss me? Will they even realize that I'm gone?

I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, and tried to write a note, but my hand was so shaky that I just couldn't do it. ' _Oh well, I guess a note's not that important_.' I reached into my bag and pulled out the small bottle of pain relievers that I snuck with me. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be able to bring myself to hang myself, so I'd have to try a less direct method. Something less... _painful_. I popped off the cap and brought it to my lips, but hesitated. Why couldn't I just do it?

Suddenly, a familiar voice and loud footsteps nearby brought me out of my thoughts, and I snapped my head back. ' _Con...rad?_ ' "Yuuri, where are you? Yuuri!" Why was he here? I felt the last speck of my determination slip away, and I fell to my knees. The footsteps were now right before me. "Yuuri! Thank goodness! Are you alright?" He knelt down and wrapped his warm arms around me, pulling me to his chest. I involuntarily shuddered, and my heart began to beat frantically in my chest. I admit that I have harbored deep feelings for him for some time now; not just feelings of platonic friendship, but as something deeper. _**I love him**_. Although, I don't suppose it truly matters, as I know that he'll never have such feelings for me in return.

"Yuuri, why have you come here? Please… Tell me that it wasn't to…?" His arms wrap themselves tighter around me, and guilt washes over me like a tidal wave. My silence was enough of an answer for him. "Oh, Yuuri." My own hands soon find themselves clenched in his jacket, turning my knuckles white. Before I knew it, tears were cascading down my face, my breath coming out in choked sobs. "Conrad! I'm sorry! I-I just…" My voice trailed off and I found myself unable to utter those two important words. ' _I'm scared._ ' Conrad pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me, before brushing that hand through my hair. Tremors of unspoken pleasure ran up and down my spine at the contact. "Don't apologize. _I'm sorry_ for not realizing that you've been unhappy. I'm supposed to be protecting you, and yet…" His voice broke at the last word, and he moved to hide his face against my shoulder. I could faintly feel a single drop of moisture fall onto my exposed skin, and I moved an arm up to gently curl around his neck. ' _Please, don't cry._ '

We stayed just like that for what felt like an eternity before he finally pulled away to look me straight in the eyes. "Yuuri, I promise that from now on, I'll properly look after you. If you ever feel unhappy, you know that you can come and talk to me. I won't burn you to a crisp like Wolfram." I couldn't help but give a weak chuckle at that, and it seemed to have somewhat reassured him. Then, a question burned into my mind. "B-but… Aren't you angry? Don't you hate me now?" I felt as though my heart would burst if his answer was yes, but I still needed... _wanted_...to know. His face twisted into an unreadable expression, and for a moment, I thought that this was a bad sign. Then, he cupped my face with a heated palm. "Of course not, I could never hate you, Yuuri. I was so worried about you; I thought that something bad had happened to you, and that I wasn't going to be able to find you in time… But even then, I could still never hate you. I love you too much to feel that way."

At that moment, time had temporarily frozen, my heart skipping a few beats in the process. I didn't think that I had properly heard what he had said. "Wh-what did you say?" For a moment, he just looked at me, as though he had no idea what I was even asking him. Then he looked up, rerunning his previous words though his head. His eyes suddenly widened and he jumped back a couple feet, holding his hands up as though to fend off monsters. "Ah, please forget that! It was an honest mistake!" Nope, I wasn't having _any_ of that. I lunged forward and grabbed one of his wrists, staring him dead in the eyes. "Did you…really mean that last part?" He hesitated for a moment before nodding his head. "Every word. I really do truly love you, but I would have never dared to tell you, as you are my king, and I'm merely your servant of sorts. Besides that, you're already...uh, _engaged_." Did he _have_ to bring _that_ up? I looked down in thought, then looked back to him. "Well, then I guess I'll have to tell him." Conrad gazed at me for a moment. "What will you tell him?" "The truth. He deserves nothing less." I answered honestly.

"There are more important matters we have to attend to first, though." I stated, as though it should be obviously, which earned me a quizzical stare. "Well, first of all, we really _should_ head home now. I'm sure Mom - I mean Mama, Dad and Shori are probably really worried about me…" I shifted and rubbed the back of my neck almost nervously. "Ah, you're right. We should head back." He pulled me to my feet and began to turn. "Ah, wait!" He turned back to me. "Yes?" I leaned up and pressed my lips to his. At first, he was unresponsive, but he soon relaxed and began to kiss back, and I felt an arm gently snake around my waist. The kiss sent fireworks sparking behind my eyes, and a quiet moan slipped its way past my lips. We stayed like this for a moment before finally pulling back to catch our breath. I opened my eyes to look at him, only then having realized that I had closed them at some point, and saw the small smile painted on his face. For a moment, he said nothing, then he whispered, "Let's go home… Yuuri." As we walked towards the slowly setting sun, a thought passed through my mind. ' _This… THIS is bliss…_ '

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 **Author's Note: Oh, dear God, the ending was SO cliche! And yet, with this having been my first (somewhat) BL fic (or romance of any kind), while I was writing it, I couldn't stop blushing. I had to stop near the end, and my head just falls down onto the desk, and I'm just thinking, 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?! xD). Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing this. And yes, this is my more favorite ending. Any ending where Yuuri dies is a HORRIBLE ending (and any ending with some ConYuu in it is more of a plus or sorts… *waggles eyebrows...and succeeds in looking retarded*) I'll see ya'! Now that I've procrastinated long enough, it's time to go finish chapter ten of The Animatronic Demon King. :-)**


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